Hello extraordinary single lady, this is the 2nd principle of “6 PRINCIPLES SINGLE LADIES NEED TO HAVE IN PLACE TO ATTRACT BOAZ” if you are reading this blog post without learning about the 1st principle, I suggest you stop and read the 1st principle single ladies need to have in place to attract Boaz.
The 2nd principle is, “Enjoying Your Own Company”
When your husband shows up, he needs you, to have a life of your own.
I think far too long, women look to a man to rescue her from her circumstances, rescue her from loneliness and rescue her from herself. Some women look to a man to validate their self-worth.
The only life force that have the ability to validate you is God and yourself.
We will seek validation from the people that are important to us like our parents, siblings and friends. But what if you do not get the validation that you are looking for from the people in your life? Are you going to feel bad about yourself and feel bad about the things that you are doing?
This is why you can not even rely on the people that are closes to you to validate you. They may not see things like you see them.
You will have all types of reasons why people don’t and won’t give you the validation that you may be searching for. They may not have it inside of their heart to give it out to you. They may be lacking something inside of themselves. They may not want you to know that they think that much about you.
Some people do not give validation to you because they fear loosing some kind of control over you. Some people hold back giving you validation because they fear you are going to out do them. It could be because they are envious of you. It could be because they don’t know how much you really need it from them. But whatever the reason people hold back validation really doesn’t matter, because the only validation you need is God’s and yourself.
You really need to be grounded in this truth before you get married.
Today I want to teach you how to enjoy your own company. When you can enjoy your own company you become self-sufficient. You may desire to have fellowship with others, but you do not look to others to make you happy. You do not need others approval of you. You are not desperate for attention from others. You can create your own the happiness.
I am not shocked about woman looking for validation, because as little girls we grow up watching what has been displayed to us in our homes. We watched how our fathers treated our mothers and how our fathers treated us. If we did not grow up with a father in the home, we watched how our mothers relate to the men that was in her life. Little girls are always seeking some kind of validation. Whether it is from momma or daddy, we thrive off of it. If we did not get it as little girls we grow up to be grown woman still needing to be validated. We grow up still needing for someone to tell us that we are special, beautiful, lovable, awesome, smart and capable. We looked to others to make us happy.
Were you the little girl that waited on your daddy when he said he was coming back and never did come back ? You know us girls love our daddy, and we believe anything they say to us. You gotta deal with that right now, because you will be waiting for a man when he tells you that he needs to take care of somethings in his life and put you on hold, expecting you to be there when he get back.
No my love, you deserve a man who is going to value you, be there for you and respect your time. You never ever put your life on hold for anyone you are not married to, so they can go and figure out what they want to do. A woman would think this is normal because this is what she saw her father do to her.
You will never be happy, and always be disappointed if you allow others to control your life.
You are handing your happiness in the hands of others if you are sitting around waiting for someone to share their time with you and share your awesome beautiful space.
Were you the little girl that always needed praise and compliments and felt rejected or unloved when you did not get it. You my extraordinary sister is getting ready to snatch your power and your happiness back from the enemy of your mind. You are getting ready to implement the tools that will help you to enjoy your own company, find yourself and discover what you love. Enjoying your own company is all about you surviving without anyone breathing your air.
Are you the little girl that got anything she wanted from her daddy? You will be expecting that from your soon to be husband who at the time, might not be able to give you everything you want. If you do not deal with this now, you would think he is not making you happy.
When you have learned to enjoy your own company, take care of yourself and do the things that you love, you will not put unrealistic expectation on other people, not even your soon to be husband.
I am not saying you should not expect your soon to be husband to spend quality time with you and buy you nice gifts, what I am talking about is you feeling unhappy and waiting on others to love you, spend time with you and validate you so you can feel whole.
You should be learning how to do things by yourself, like going to the movies, it is alright to have girls night out but you should try going to the movies by yourself. You need to depend on you and God for your own happiness. Date yourself, visit the museum, go out to eat by yourself, to a nice fine dining restaurant, and dress up. Take little trips by yourself. Love your own company, Enjoy you.
Create a space that you can not wait to come home to! This is the time you need to find out what you like. What truly makes you happy and start during more of those things.
How is the man in your life going to enjoy your company, when you do not enjoy your own company. Try turning off the electronics and just sit listening to your own breath. Play some wonderful praise music and get before the lord and dance. Get to know yourself all over again.
There are going to be times in your marriage, when your husband is not going to want to do the things that you want to do, or he might not be available to do them with you because of his work schedule, your life still goes on and he needs to see that you are not making him your happiness. That takes tons of pressure off him and even makes you more attractive to him, because he knows you are not going to be waiting around for him. He needs to know that you are not making him your little god.
When a woman flows out of fulfillment, she is not desperate for attention from another person. Though she wants her husband undivided attention at times, she do not fall apart when he is not able to give it to her. She goes to God in prayer and tell God what she needs and waits for God to answer that prayer. That woman goes by her way and pulls from the things that makes her happy.
She does not mope around desperately, waiting until someone comes along to validate her.
So what are some of the things you can do to fall in love with your life, fall in love with yourself and truly learn how to enjoy your own company.
Find out what makes you happy. Extraordinary single lady, purchase you a journal and fill it up with all of the things you want to do that you have not done yet. Don’t wait until you are married to do these things, if you can make it happen while you are single, than do it.
*Create a love list. Began to thrush out all of the things that you absolutely love and do more of it.
*Right down 10 things that you are grateful for every night and focus on one thing out of those 10 things that you are most grateful for.
*Right down all of your favorites colors, and start decorating your house, wardrobe and jewelry and everything else you can buy in these colors.
*Walk at least 30 minute a day, walking has wonderful benefits and it keeps you healthy and stress free.
*Create you a playlist on youtube of your favorite songs and dance until your heart is content.
*If you have extra cash, get yourself a spa treatment. I recommend at least once a month. If it is not in your budget, buy your own spa kit and pamper yourself once a week, you deserve it.
*Learn something new every week and read and study that topic until your heart is content. The Library is a gigantic wealth of knowledge, and everything there is free! So you have no excuse not to learn something new.
*Take a trip by yourself and feel happy and free. See the sites, shop until you drop and then get dressed up and treat your self to a yummy delicious meal.
*Create an affirmation list, find your best scriptures and positive confessions and say them to yourself daily. You can also do mirror techniques. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak get things over yourself at least 2 times a day in the morning and before bed.
*Go to the movies and fine dining often, by yourself and with your friends.
*Do something adventurous!
*Learn how to meditate on your favorite scriptures and confessions. Just sit quietly with soft instrumental praise music and dream of having your new life.
*Declutter your environment. Create a checklist of things, people, environments, clothes and furniture that no longer serves you purpose. Donate, throw away, give way and disconnect.
*Organize your life! This can be really fun. Turn on your favorite music and clean and organize your house and everything that is in it. Bills, schedules ect.
*Create you a 100 goal list, write down things that you want to do in your life time.
*Learn how to cook and invite your friends or family or co workers over to try your new recipes.
*Learn all you can about marriage.
*Watch a wholesome comedy and laugh until you cry.
*Give your self a makeover. Practice confidence, poise and smiling.
*Practice controlling your thoughts and think your way to a happy life. Wake up renewed everyday, can’t wait to enjoy the next thing on your list. Get excited about your life and when you do, your life will be filled with exuberance.
When you began to enjoy your own company, you will become an interesting person as well as a well rounded person. There will be a new sparkle in your eyes and a renewed love for living and this will show on your face. Your life will not feel meaningless anymore, you will not look to anyone to create your happiness.
When you get married, your happiness will be in the love and security of God first, then yourself. Your perspective will be clear when it comes to who is in charge of your happiness. Happiness and positive energy attracts things and people to us, speaking negatively and feeling unhappy repeal things and people away from us.
I give you permission to enjoy your happy and beautiful life!
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