How do you keep the flames from going out in your marriage? How are you and your husband staying connected to each other with all the responsibilities you both have on your plates?
What is Romance?
1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
2. quality or feeling of mystery,
excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.
I want to ask you again, so how are you keeping the romance going in your marriage? Especially when you are managing homeschool, homemaking and purpose/work.
I won’t even get into how exhausted you sometimes feel at the end of the day after homeschooling the kids and handling their emotions and all of the things that come with homemaking and your purpose/working.
I just wanted to remind you that you are your husband’s wife first, before the kids, homeschool, homemaking and your purpose/work.
None of this can work if your marriage is the last thing that gets poured into. So you have to make it your 1st priority after God and your self-care.
Your relationship with God helps you to have a better relationship with yourself, in return, you have a better relationship with your husband and then the kids and everything else comes after that.
When I say yourself before your husband, I am not talking about putting yourself above the order that God has ordained, which is God, man, women, kids.
Beautiful let me explain, we pour our everything into everybody needs and we neglect our own needs. When our tanks are not filled up, we have nothing left to give to our God, ourselves, husband, kids, home and purpose/work.
When we neglect ourselves we age quicker, is more snappier, become depressed, bitter, complain more, feel very overwhelmed, carry stress in our bodies which opens the door to diseases and health issues.
Women are leaving this planet unfulfilled and premature because we are not taking care of ourselves. So taking care of yourself first, is essential to taking care of your family, home and purpose/work. You want to be around to take care of your family.
If that means you have to wake up before your family to take care of yourself by all means do so. If you don’t know what to include in your self-care routines, I have 2 blog posts that I think will give you some ideas.
Since God ordained marriage as the second most important union on earth, I think it should be wives most important union on earth as well. Your first union is with God then yourself.
Matthew 22:36-39 NLT “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.
The second commandment God said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” So loving yourself is very important. Then and only then, can you properly love others in a healthy manner.
I’ve heard of marriages ending after raising of the kids, homeschooling them and taking care of the home. What happened through the years of being a wife, homemaker and homeschool mom?
Who and what got neglected?
Since your children will one day leave your home and start their own families, I think you should be pouring into what will one day be your micro family, just you and your husband.
I want to share ways you can use romanticism to keep the romance in your marriage and stay connected to your husband.
10 Ways To Keep the Romance In Your Marriage When Your a Homemaker who Homeschools
1. Make love to your Husband often.
Let him know that you enjoy his touches, carresses and kisses.
As Christians, marriage is the one place we have liberty to enjoy our marriage bed. Make it exciting. Bring in the lace lingerie, perfume, candles and the music.
Sex is one of your husband’s top physical needs. God created him that way and he especially enjoys sex with his wife.
He can only get sex from his wife and you can only get sex from him, so make it feel special for the both of you.
He feels very loved and connected to you when that need is fulfilled.
Hebrew 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
2. Touch on your husband before he leaves for work, and when he comes homes from work. Let him know that you are still attracted to him and you find him exciting to be around.
Kiss him passionately. He wants to feel like he still got it! Just like you like affection, so does your husband. All this will do is draw him closer to you more.
3. Show him honor and respect. If you ever wanted to keep the romance and connection in your marriage, show your husband respect.
Respect is huge for a men and probably comes 1st before sex, because if he feels disrespect from you, it could effect him being intimate with you.
I am not telling you to call your husband lord, but Sarah called Abraham lord.
1 Peter 3:1-6
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
Your adornment must not be merely external — braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
If you want to know what it means to be a submissive wife, A Woman of Noble Character has a good article on this subject just click the link to read all about it.
4. Flirt with your husband. There is nothing more romantic than flirting with your husband. It keeps you attracted to one another and keeps you excited about your marriage.
It is the appetizer that sets the tone for the full course meal. I know before you married your husband you probably flirted with him all the time.
Now that it’s been 10, 20 or even 30 years later, things probably slowed down. Well, you can make it feel like it did before you married him.
When you flirt with him, be prepared for what’s coming next. If you need some ideas on how to flirt with your husband, I will include 5 to get you started.
1. Send your husband a text letting him know how much you miss him. Use a code or emoji letting him know how you are feeling or what he should expect when he gets home.
He’s going to rush home to you. When he get there, don’t act like you didn’t send him that text. Be prepared, because he is coming for you.
2. Write him a note and put it in his lunch bag. This will make him smile knowing you had him on your mind. It will get him excited about you and keep him encouraged throughout his work day.
3. Give him a seductive smile while staring into his eyes. He would immediately know what that look means, even if you didn’t mean it that way. He will instantly be drawn into you and ready to land a kiss on you, so be prepared.
4. Compliment him on something you love about him. A compliment goes along way, who doesn’t like compliment. Make sure your compliments are genuine.
Let him know how handsome he is. How good he is at fixing things. How you love that he is so caring.
5. Plan an date for the both of you and surprise him. Don’t tell him what you did, just tell him you have a treat waiting for him. Let him know how excited you are to spend time with him.
He would be like a kid in the candy store.
Being spontaneous is the key keeping the romance going in your marriage
5. Spend time having stimulating conversation with your husband. Find things to talk about together. If you see that your husband is interested in a particular topic, go and find out all you can about that topic so you can connect with him on that level. Unless you made your husband your enemy, you are his best friend.
He feels safe enough to share his thoughts and heart with you. Don’t act like you are not interested. Get excited about what he is excited about. He will always come to you and talk with you about what is on his heart.
Talk about things you both enjoy together. Plan your life together. Keep your husband dreaming by listening to his dreams and letting him know your dreams. My husband and I have dream sessions all the the time.
6. Travel together. Just you and your husband without the kids. Your husband misses his wife, and don’t think he will miss your kids because he won’t but you will. He will feel like a teenager again and he will be so excited to have his wife all to himself.
If you can’t find a babysitter to watch your kids then get creative. Put the kids to bed early and plan a virtual trip.
Some virtual trips cost money, go ahead and buy the tickets, it cost significantly less than a flight and hotel, and it feels like you are there for real.
Go all out and learn about new cultures, buy their food, wear their clothes and go online and buy a memorabilia. You guys will have fun together and it will keep the sparks flying in your marriage.
7 Let go of pettiness don’t play tit-for-tat. The high road is always is the best way to go. Be quick to forgive and don’t bring back old faults. Never say to your husband, “you always do this.” Let every discussion stay in the present don’t look back in the past.
You know the saying, “don’t go to bed angry” or Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
8. Show your husband appreciation make a point to always say thank you to your husband. Sometimes men want to know if they are measuring up in their life. The areas that is most dear to them is, being a good husband, provider or dad. He wants to know are you pleased with him, is he doing a good job.
I love the blog post The Dating Divas have on their website. 101 Ways to Show Appreciation To Your Spouse. Just click the link to get some ideas on how to show your husband appreciation.
9. Admire Your Husband. Watch your husband while he works. He could be working at his job, in the yard, working on his car, working on a project in your home or helping the kids with their school work.
Admire the way he do things and tell him how much you admire him. Go into details about it, he will soak it all up. He will feel honored that you think so highly of him. He will feel so connected to you.
10. Brag about your husband. Talk good about your husband in front of your kids, parents, family members, friends and other people. Say it right in front of him.
Let the people in your life know that God gave you his best and let your husband know you feel like the luckiest woman on the planet. He will feel so connected to you and would love to stay in your presence.
That wraps up 10 Ways To Keep the Romance In Your Marriage When Your a Homemaker Who Homeschools.
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Until the next post, stay beautiful!